| Ring of Fire |
[22 Oct 2007|06:56pm] |
I fell in to a burning ring of fire
I went down,down,down
and the flames went higher.
And it burns,burns,burns
the ring of fire
the ring of fire.
"Ring of Fire" by Johnny Cash
All I can do right now is wait. My neighborhood was asked to evacuate this afternoon. I have been glued to the news since I first heard that there was a fire. When I turned off the news at 12 am last night, 3 fires were burning throughout San Diego. When I woke up this morning, those 3 fires had jumped to 8. It felt so unreal to me until I got that phone call. Then it finally hit me. I realized that this is really happening, and that my house could be burned to the ground.
I panicked and packed my things up as asked of me. Looking back at my room one last time before heading down the stairs and out the door, I began to think, Is this the last time I will see my room?
I followed my mom out of our neighborhood in my car, and my dad and brother followed me in our other car. There were police guiding cars to the freeway entrance. The line of cars was so long, we were kept in the same place for about 20 minutes before moving 10 feet. My mom decided that we had better turn around and rethink our route. We actually came back to our house. The fire is not near my area and my parents believe that the evacuation of my neighborhood was not necessary. Nevertheless, we have all our things packed in our 3 cars and the second we hear that the fire is moving in on us, we are heading for a hotel far away from the fires.
Right now, all we can do is wait. I am beyond the point of 'stressed out.' It's a sensation of danger and thrill being nearly the only family in an evacuated area. It's like watching a horror/thriller movie. I am on the edge of my seat, heart is pounding, just waiting to see or hear what happens next. I don't want to lose my house. I am afraid of just that.
So many people have lost their houses and so many people have evacuated and are experiencing the same feeling I am.
No matter what though, I know that things will work out. If the worst does happen, it will all be okay. Material possessions are not important to me at this point. I am not a strong religious believer, but I am hoping that my friends will be okay, and I am thinking of everyone of them.
I can only hope now, that this fire will come to an end very soon.
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| She's not a girl who misses much... |
[15 Oct 2007|11:07pm] |
Happiness is Warm Gun - The Beatles
Today is Monday, Oct. 15th. Two days ago was the 13th, the anniversary date in which I was first admitted to Provo Canyon School in 2004. And coming up is October 29th, the anniversary of my release date in 2005.
I've got a lot on my mind. The main reason I am writing right now. Well, there's none. Just updates I guess. Looking for an excuse to stay up later. Take up time.
I'm looking forward to seeing Across the Universe a third time, hopefully within the next week or two. I can't get enough of that movie.
Today I worked out for a long time. I was really pushing it because my manager has asked it of me. I hope to continue giving it my all at the gym nearly every day that I can, but some days, time does not allow this luxury.
Renato was sick today. He also had his 3rd dental surgery this month this afternoon. Hopefully he is feeling better by tomorrow.
I went to Joelle's Salon on Sunday to add red back to my hair because it was something that my manager and I had talked about. But the lady really screwed up because it's not what I wanted at all. It's almost brown, and I wanted to go more of a natural redhead color. And she kept saying to me, "Oh that's going to be too bright, I'm just going to tone it down a little bit." So I figured, okay, maybe I should trust her because she's the hair stylist. Nope. She just did what she thought would look good... and it's not that it doesn't look good, it's just not what I wanted. So that's been frustrating.
What else can I get off my chest before the night is through?
You know, when you first fall in love, your feelings toward another person are so strong and so intense, reminiscent of Christian and Satine from Moulin Rouge. I'm not so sure that that kind of love really exists. It's all an illusion. Love isn't anything more than a friendship, and a companionship, and I'm okay with that. I consider Renato my best friend, and my companion. I'm not sure if those intense feelings were meant to last. Regardless, I love my boyfriend; he's there for me. I can tell him anything, joke with him about anything. We have a good relationship. To give an idea: I'll see a good looking girl walking down the street and I point her out to him and say, "How many times would you do her before you came back to me?" and he'd go, "Her? Twice, maybe three times." Then we just laugh it off.
My goal this week is to actually find a real job. A full-time job. I know, scary. Halloween is coming up, and I'm hoping that Renato will participate in the fun costume idea I have for us.
I think I'm about ready to nod off, so I'll bring this entry to an end.
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| Secrets |
[05 Oct 2007|08:04pm] |
When you... withhold information from someone. Is it a lie? Or is it a secret? When I'm asked a question, I often withhold information. I don't say what I want to say, what's on my mind. I'm a very secretive person. Am I a dishonest person for doing this?
I have so many secrets, they're almost eating me up alive. I don't know if I'm insecure and I don't want people to get the wrong (or the right) idea about me. Mostly, I just think that they wouldn't understand. It just feels like... they're all better off not knowing the truth.
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| My Lovely Man. |
[05 Oct 2007|05:56pm] |
I have a huge hole in my life right now. Renato was called in for Air Force duty. He's in Mississippi right now, of all places, training. He's not allowed to talk on the phone. I really miss him.
I'm at a place right now... where everything is all screwed up. My life is lacking structure and stability, mostly due to my "job" or lack of job. Umm... we don't need you this week. Uhh my kid is sick, so we'll let you know. I was so sure that being a nanny would be a fufilling and rewarding job experience. Well it fucking sucks. Seriously.
I don't know where else I could work. My mom suggested a preschool or daycare. That way, I would at least get some decent hours.
I'm torn between decisions right now, that I'm going to have to make sooner or later. I really don't know what to do.
I guess I'll just go back to eating my tub of frosting I bought to keep me company while Renato is away.
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| Medicinal Purposes |
[24 Sep 2007|09:51pm] |
It's working. It's actually working. I didn't think so at first, but now I'm sure. The less time we spend together, the more he appreciates me. Did you know that tonight we spent 30 or more minutes in his car saying goodbye? Did you know that most of the time our goodbyes consist of me wanting to sit and talk and cuddle and him saying, "Babe, c'mon. I have to go. I have to get up early." Tonight, he was so romantic and cute and endearing. The reason?
The less time we spend together, the more he misses me and wants to spend time with me. Seems pretty obvious, like anyone could figure that out. Well, it's not easy. I always used to give in and ask him to sleep over, just dying for attention that I would not get. It's hard saying "No, you have to go home. You can't stay," to him. More than anything I want to bring him inside and be with him. Even now, I miss him. I think in the end it will all be worth it. Won't it?
What's better? Spending all your time with the one you love most, and getting on each other's nerves, and fighting, and not seeing your friends as much? Or spending less time together, having your own personal freedom and your loved one is excited to see you everyday and so sad to see you go? The second answer sounds a lot better. The problem for me is when we're at the car saying goodbye, I don't think about the fighting and bickering and getting on each other's nerves. I think, I just want to take him in and be with him. I only think about the good. It's so hard to say no to that sweet little brazilian face! Just like it was tonight!
Man is my back sore. Kim and I had a photoshoot with Pete, or ZPhoto. It was a great experience. Pete really knew what he was doing, and I trusted him, which isn't an easy thing to do. I'm excited to see the outcome. I think they'll look great!
I took an Extra Stength Tylenol PM, to help with the back pain and help me sleep. I wonder when it will kick in.
Yes, I love my baby to sleep next to me all night long. But I know that some distance will help us. I can feel it. Our relationship will be able to heal, and will be stronger than ever.
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| There will be an answer. Let it be. |
[24 Sep 2007|12:15am] |
I know if I try to go to sleep now, I will be tossing and turning for at least another hour.
Renato and I have been going through a rough patch. We had the worst fight--to date--on Friday. It was awful. Horrible. Traumatic.
We've been working things out though. It's so hard. I'm not even sure where we go wrong... I thought we were spending too much time together. Sharing one life instead of living two seperate lives. When it came time for Renato to go back to his house, I didn't want him to leave. I thought spending less time together would be better for us, but I just miss him. Maybe it's something I have to get used to.
Anyways, being with friends helps a lot. Kim and I did not have the shoot with Sam again today. Things just keep happening. We do have a shoot tomorrow morning. Early tomorrow. Ughh... I don't have any new swimsuits to use. I've used them all in my other shoots. I really just hope I rock it tomorrow.
It's been a rough week. Really rough. I still don't know what to do about my job situation, because I can't find a replacement for Family #1. I could take them back, but what if they keep doing that to me? "Oh we don't need you this week. Or this week."
And with school. I really dislike going to school. I really dislike doing any kind of school work. Except for my Stained Glass class. Which reminds me I need to take pictures of my first stained glass piece.
I feel kinda sick right now. I just don't know what to do about a lot of things. Hopefully the answers will come to me.
Now what am I going to do for another 30-45 minutes while I pass the time...
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| And then she said, It's time for bed. |
[19 Sep 2007|12:35am] |
Norwegian Wood - The Beatles
Today was kind of a shitty day. I was sick yesterday with something I caught from Renato. Last night, Kim came over to look through and edit her pictures from our first photoshoot together. While Kim, Renato and I were all hanging out in my room, I got a call from one of my employers telling me they won't need me for the next few weeks because they have relatives visiting. UGGGHHHH.
Words cannot express my anger. This is just like what happened before I went to Brazil. Another family dumped me three weeks before my trip. I was counting on those last three weeks of paychecks to finish paying for my plane ticket. Did they care? No. I'm just the nanny.
In this family's case, they first responded to my craiglist ad saying they needed a nanny Mon-Fri, 8am until 2pm. So I'm thinking, this is great. I'll get exactly the hours I need. Then when I drive all the way to Linda fucking Vista, they tell me, "Actually, we're still figuring our schedule out, so we'll let you know what days we'll need you." So I said, okay. I really like their whole family. I enjoyed working for them. But my promised 20-30 hours quickly dimished into a measely 10 hours per week, which just won't cut it.
Thankfully, over the last two weeks, I've been able to find two other families to nanny for during the days I wasn't nannying for Family #1. My relationship with Family #1 is offically over now. I can't keep getting pushed around like this. I need to make a certain amount of money per week, and if they can't respect that, then I can't work for them. So out went another craigslist ad this afternoon. We'll see where that goes.
This morning, I didn't go to the gym because I just wasn't feeling it. I went to my third family's house to nanny. It was my first day on the job and essentially the first time interacting with the kids. All in all, I can see a good relationship building between myself and Family #3.
Family #2 that I sit for was looking for some extra help in the afternoons, while I was in school. I referred them to Kim. Kim exclaimed to me today that she got a call from them and was to meet them on Saturday. I figure I will take Kim to meet them, since it's kind of tricky to find their house, and then we can go back to Pacific Beach to shop later in the afternoon.
What else. Yeah, today has just been a crummy day. I'm still really bummed out about Family #1. Two days ago I was relieved to finally have everything straightened out, and have my schedule just right. Then I got the call.
I'm having Jessica and Kim over to watch the series premiere of America's Next Top Model: Season 9 with me tomorrow night. Looking forward to it. And also looking forward to just getting this week over with!
A couple pictures from the latest shoot:
 
It's late! I've been hard at work on the new layout for my portfolio website. The layout is finished, but not quite all the content.
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| You can come out now, Jay Manuel! |
[16 Sep 2007|10:41pm] |
Today was stressful. I check my messages on Model Mayhem this morning and find one from a photographer that I had planned to shoot with two weeks prior. He writes, "We had a shoot set up for today, do you still want to meet up?" I'm like shit, that's right. We both lost contact and forgot about it. In fact, I had another shoot planned for Kim and I with Sam Cardenas today, but because of an unfortunate accident, Sam's uncle was killed in a car crash and he had to cancel. Well, I said, why the hell not. Kim and I were planning on watching a movie together, why not do a photoshoot?
We met with him at this really cool location near the Wild Animal Park, this really old wreck of an abandoned building. First words that come out of the photographers mouth when he sees me, "I don't like your outfit." Oh joy! Well, it's nice to meet you too Mr. Photographer!
Everything he had to direct, every pose in the beginning, so we were holding a really uncomfortable pose for at least 45 seconds to a minute and a half while he fiddles around with the buttons on his camera and finally takes one shot. Not quite the pace I am used to. It's hot, there are bugs, and out of nowhere this guy tells me that he doesn't feel like I am working with him, and that I don't trust him, and that he needs us to work as a team. As the shoot went on, the weather cooled over, as did the tension. I believe we got some great shots. And Kim was doing so well for her first time! At one point he said, "Wow, I'm getting such great shots from you, Tina. It really compensates for your attitude."
It was like a challenge out of America's Next Top Model, except that Jay Manuel didn't come out from behind the corner saying, "Just kidding, girls! Now you know what it's like to shoot with a difficult photographer!" Nope. Honestly though, I think it was a good experience, because I had never dealt with a photographer just as stubborn, if not more than I am. (Which is a difficult feat to come by.) Now I know what it's like. I've experienced the "difficult photographer" and I've learned from it. But you know what, I think we got some killer shots. I'm looking forward to seeing the results.
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| Loving every rise and fall. |
[15 Sep 2007|09:44pm] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Tear - Red Hot Chili Peppers |
] |
Renato left for the Air Force early this morning. We woke up at 5, for some strange reason unknown to me, I could not get back to sleep. I worked on my website for a few hours. At 7:30 I gave it another try and woke up at 9:30.
I went to Kim's house to meet her so we could go to Pacific Beach. Everything was fine until I started driving. I think I'm on one road, but I'm not, I'm on a completely different road just driving and driving. Kim must think I'm a maniac. Well, driving or any kind of directions for that matter, aren't my greatest skills. But the real question is, does my artist talent compensate for my mental retardation on the road?
Once we were out of the car though, I think things went rather well. She had never shopped in Pacific Beach before, so I gave her an official tour of all the best stores, Pink Zone, Pangaea, Wish, and Golden Hanger.
We each bought a couple shirts from a couple places. Some new stuff for our photoshoot coming up together. And, I got a pita from PitaPit! Mmm.
I came home around 5ish. I ate Ben & Jerry's Phish food ice cream and watched America's Next Top Model reruns because I missed Renato. :(
My family and I watched a netflix, Georgia Rule. I was surprised to find that I really enjoyed it. Kim and I are going to watch it tomorrow when she comes over.
Renato will come home from Riverside around 6pm tomorrow, so I'm going to have to face the night alone for now. Probably going to stay up doing web design. I have a family I'm going to meet tomorrow that I'm going to nanny for on Tues & Thurs, hopefully! I'll see how it goes.
I was talking to Kim about all the movies she's got to see with me. So we compiled a list:
Georgia Rule
Girl, Interrupted
Almost Famous
Frida
Moulin Rouge
Armageddon
Forrest Gump
Office Space
Those happen to be all my favorite movies. Well, I don't know if Georgia Rule quite makes it to the top favorites, but it was worth while.
Until next time.
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| Grateful Living. |
[13 Sep 2007|09:35pm] |
Today is Thursday, one week after crashing my car! I got to sleep in today, well sort of. I slept until 8, but I was feeling restless and anxious to get up. I took it easy at the gym today and worked out for an hour instead of two. My car is all better. I have to pay my dad back for the parts he had to buy to fix it, $150. Well, I get paid tomorrow, so that's where the money will come from.
Renato and I went to our Stained Glass class today. It's so weird saying "our." I'm used to thinking that it's just me taking the class. I sautered the lead on my glass project today! Next class I'm going to cement it, and it will be finished. I'm really excited to see the finished product.
I had a powerpoint presentation for my Fashion class in the evening. I was first up. I'm really not so nervous in front of an audience, not like I used to be. My designer was Halston. When I chose to do Halston for my project I had never even heard of him before; I chose him randomly. I'm glad I chose him though, because I feel like I learned something very important about the Fashion Industry. Halston was a designer, and some of his designs were completely original and unique, but they were so simple and plain. The reason he became so big was because he knew how to market himself, he knew how to network with all the right people, and that's how he made it so big. Not because his designs were extrodinary works of art, but because he knew how to sell them. This was a valuable experience, learning about this man. As an aspiring model, it's true, I don't have that unique of a look. There's nothing that special about me, but if I can learn how to market myself, that's how I'll make it. Everytime I go to the Fashion class, I just get so excited! This is what I want to be a part of, what I want to pursue.
Today I was thinking how amazing it is how different I am, how much I've changed. I'm just not the same person. It's hard to believe that I was the kind of person who... well, was depressed, and suicidal and in and out of treatment centers. My situation is so different now. I'm independent and outgoing and enjoying life, every day. I feel so grateful that I was given so many chances to change my life around. I hated Provo Canyon School. In fact, I still hate Provo Canyon School, but I might not be here without it.
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| Motivated. |
[12 Sep 2007|08:44pm] |
I woke up at 6 am this morning to go to the gym!! Now that's what I call motivation. It was actually one of my better experiences going to the gym. I was awake and energetic and feeling pumped! So that's what I'm planning on doing every Mon, Weds & Fri. I'm still going to the gym on Tues and Thurs, but later in the morning, until I find another family for those days... which I am working on right now. About to post a craigslist ad.
Hmm let's see. Renato is actually having an interview this friday for that $250 an hour photoshoot. Holy shit. I am going to be so happy for him if he gets to do it!
Friday afternoon I'm going shopping with Kim. That should be fun, considering we've become pretty good friends but haven't actually met in person yet.
We have a photoshoot with Mr. Sam Cardenas on Sunday evening, which I'm definately am looking forward to.
What else...
My favorite picture from my last photoshoot!
The pictures came out really well. I am so thankful to my friend Carly for letting me borrow her prom dresses. They came in handy, considering I've never been to a school dance in my life!
As usual, I'm in the process of making a new website for my portfolio. That's about it for now. I've been in a pretty good mood today. Hope it lasts.
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| Exposure. |
[09 Sep 2007|12:25am] |
I feel like such a dope for crashing my car into a tree the other day. What happened was, first of all, I did a shitty parking job when I arrived at the gym. I worked out two solid hours. I mean, really, worked the fuck out. I was tired and dizzy leaving the gym, and as I was backing out, I felt my car lifting to go over a curb. There was a tree some inches in front of my car, but I didn't realize as I was in reverse that the front headlight/turnlight of my car would crash into the tree. The damages might cost me around $250, which SUCKS because I'm a poor college student and my nannying position just lowered the hours they needed me drastically. It's an awful feeling because it would have been so easily avoidable if I wasn't "impaired" from having worked out so hard!
I had a photoshoot this morning in Rancho Bernardo around the golf courses. I'm gonna be picking up the photos on Monday probably. I saw them, and they look really good! So I'm excited for that.
I'm helping my new friend Kim get started in the modeling biz. Before I even talked to her, just from looking at her myspace profile of all things, I thought to myself, she could be my best friend. I've gotten those feelings before, when you meet someone for the first time, and just know you'll get along with them. So I guess we'll see.
I passed up on our netflix for the movie 300 to write an article for ezinearticles.com. It'll take about a week to go live, but it's a damn good article. The reason I did it was to help put my name of the web. Besides, I saw the movie in theatres.
I'm about ready to go to sleep soon. So Renato got a reply back from a craigslist advertisement I applied to for him. He could be doing a shoot that pays $250 p/h, and will roughly be 3-4 hours. Holy shit, man. I haven't gotten offers like that, and I'm supposed to be the model! I really really hope he gets the job though. He really needs it. That could pay $1,000. And that money will really help his financial situation... and mine! So he won't have to spend all the money I make!
Anyway... that's it for now. Peace...
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| Orangutans are skeptical of changes in their cages... |
[04 Sep 2007|08:49am] |
...and the zookeeper is very fond of rum. At the zoo. Simon and Garfunkel.
I've been wanting to update this journal for awhile now, but I've been so busy. I have a new job as a nanny during the week. I love my new family! There is one girl, who is 3 and keeps me busy the whole time I'm there. And a 6 month old baby boy who is always laughing and smiling. The parents are really nice and they just moved close to my neighborhood. School started a few weeks ago. It's been stressful just getting Renato's schedule organized. We kept having to change our classes around to fit his wrestling schedule, but just last week he found out he can't even be in the wrestling program because of his low GPA. So we had to change all of his classes, again.
So it's been hectic. Work from 8 until 2. School from 3 until 6pm or 9pm. And I'm trying to fit in at least a good hour of exercise every day.
Carly, my best good friend, is leaving for college on Wednesday the 5th. September 5th is also my brother's 16th birthday.
Renato and I are doing pretty good. It's not the same though. In the beginning, he was so much more happy and carefree. The responsibilities he has now and the bills he has to pay off have really affected him. Does having money solve all your problems? I'm not a materialistic person, but in this case, I really wish we were more "well off" so that he can relax and enjoy himself once in awhile. The summer of 2006 was the summer we fell in love. We went to the Zoo and to the Fair and just about everywhere and had a great time. When Renato and I went to the Zoo last weekend, he was just sulking and saying he'd rather go home. The Zoo is probably my favorite place in the world, and my favorite person in the world is putting a damper on my good time! I have more responsibilities and bills to pay off, but I still like to enjoy myself and have a good time. What is different between us? His whole personaility is so much more negative and pessimistic these days. I just want things to be okay again.
Lately it's been really hot here in San Diego. 108 degrees yesterday. Thank goodness it's cooled down some today. Yesterday was Monday, Labor Day. We had the Labor Day party in the street, which was fun. Renato stayed upstairs in my room playing games the entire time and refused to come down. =(
So I've been trying to lose some weight, or rather, get in better shape. All my modeling portfolios say that I'm 118. Well, 3 weeks ago I was 126 lbs. In two weeks, I got down to 119. It took me a week to get from 119 to 118. For the whole week I was exercising like crazy and really restricting my diet. The weird part is, I actually ate a ton of food yesterday at the Block Party. I mean, a TON. Ice cream, cookies, brownies. I really let go. And then today, I weigh myself and I'm 118, or maybe even 117.5. (It kept going back and forth between the two). What the fuck? It doesn't make any sense to me at all. Oh well. I did it!
Today I am not working at my new family's house. They are still getting adjusted to their new schedule. I'm fine with it though. I'm going to go to a Yoga class at my gym pretty soon, and then hang out with Carly one last time before she goes away to college! =(
This afternoon, Renato is joining me for my stained glass class. I don't want him to be in it though, because my first stained glass piece is supposed to be a surprise for him! I really love that class. I can't wait to see how my artwork will turn out.
There is something that's really been bothering me. And here's just one example. I was talking with one of my neighbors yesterday at the Block Party, and it was the general conversation about How do you like college? What are you majoring in? Where are you transferring? What kind of job or field do you want to work in? And the whole time I'm just standing there smiling and lying to them saying, Oh I don't know, probably something that has to do with art. It's kind of expected of me. I've always been the artistic one. Always have drawn, done graphic design, taken tons of art classes.
I'm lying because I know exactly what I want to do, but I can't bring myself to say it. I guess I'm much too humble? Or afraid of what people will think is more likely the answer. I hate the "What do you want to do with your life?" conversation. And I hate lying to myself. I want to put everything I know and have into modeling. Being a professional model. There, I said it. Too bad no one will read this.
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| Haven't posted in a long time... |
[17 Aug 2007|11:59pm] |
I was kind of avoiding livejournal for awhile. Didn't really want to have to deal with a lot of stuff.
Brazil was probably the best experience of my young life.
Now I've been back for about 3 1/2 weeks.
Classes are starting again on Monday. That kind of blows.
Life is turning around for me though. I may still be jobless, but at least I have a new direction.
Renato and I are doing very well. =) I'm still just as much in love with him since the very beginning. He still makes me feel *that way*.
Guess that's it for now.
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| She's got a ticket to ride. |
[20 Jun 2007|07:24pm] |
Tomorrow, I will be leaving for Brazil! So for now, this is good-bye. I have no idea what my situation will be like there (i.e. if I will have access to internet.) I'll update if I can.
Renato and I will be celebrating our one year anniversary tonight!
I should be back home by July 22nd, until then...
Tchau!
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| Mental Notes. |
[17 Jun 2007|06:16pm] |
Things to do before I go to Brazil:
Hang out with Shiree. (Maybe eat at El Torito)
Hang out with Carly. (Give her a BDAY present)
Hang out with Jessica. (Maybe eat at IHOP for breakfast)
Collect addresses of people to send postcards to.
Get electrical adaptors from Renato's family.
Have the most wonderful one year anniversary with Renato on Wednesday. =)
Print out boarding passes on Thurs.
Things I still need to buy:
First-aid kit.
Scissor/nail kit.
Travel journal.
Sketchbook.
Art supplies. (Pen & ink set?)
Camera case.
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| To Grandmother's house we go. |
[16 Jun 2007|08:09pm] |
Renato and I drove up to LA early Thursday morning to visit my Grandma. We arrived around 12:30 in the afternoon, just in time for lunch. We took her to eat at the Alamo, which is an authentic mexican restaurant. At her house, we watched videos of her recent trip to China. She brought back souvenirs for us. Her gift to me was a beautiful silk kimono. The rest of the evening we shopped around at the local outlet stores and ate caramel apples at the Rocky Mtn. Chocolate Factory. We were on our way back to my Grandma's house when I became aware of a strange sound Renato's mustang was making. We got out of the car, only two blocks away from our destination to find that his tire was dead flat. My grandma and I stood and watched as Renato changed his spare tire. It was too late to go to a car repair or tire shop, and there was no way we could drive home to San Diego with only a spare tire. We ended up staying over night, which was a great relief because my stomach was upset. We watched Chocolat that night. Renato fell asleep toward the end, as usual.
In the morning, my Grandma made us a huge breakfast of eggs, toast, grapefruit and bacon, (I didn't have the bacon of course though!) Later that morning Renato and I walked down to the local shopping center to buy a few things from the drug store. As we were about to head back to my grandma's, I impulsively took a turn into Pet World, which carried live pets. I was immediately drawn to this little chihuahua, who was pawing at his glass entrapment for attention. I picked him up and held him in my arms; I was head over heels. I didn't want to leave that shop or put the little guy back in his cage, and for the rest of the day I plotted scenarios of dognapping the chihuahua. Before we left I asked the cashier how much the little one was, and he said $999.99.
We walked back to my Grandma's and I was heartbroken to part from my new friend. Renato suggested I call my mom and pretend like I already bought the dog, just to see how she would react. She really flipped a bitch. No joke. The only really problem is that I'm going away to Brazil for a month, and my family doesn't want to take care of another dog while I'm gone. Money isn't the issue, for once. I'm going to get a little dog when I come home and name it Charlie. Charlie Harrison. Charlie like the name of the Red Hot Chili Peppers song, and Harrison like George Harrison's surname.
While Renato's mustang was in repair at Sears, we found time to run errands and go to lunch. We ate at California Pizza Kitchen. We made a stop by the mall so I could go to Victoria's Secret to buy a wireless bra. I've been in all sorts of pain for awhile now. I've always had back pains, but more recently I've been experiencing a lot of pain in my chest and when breathing, etc. Underwire bras don't help much in that area. So I bought this blue IPEX wireless bra and so far the pain has detensified.
Renato ended up having to have a lot of work done on his car. 4 new tires, an alignment adjustment and an oil change... costing him roughly $635. He of course doesn't have that kind of money and had to apply for a loan to have the work done on his car. He didn't have a choice really. His tires were so worn out, the cords were showing and there was a nail in one of them. The man helping us said they were at an "illegal" amount, however that is measured.
That night, around 7:30, we said our goodbyes. It was nice to see my Grandma. I hope we'll be seeing her again soon. I feel so comfortable at her house, and in LA.
Renato and I talked the whole drive home. By the time we got there, around 11:30, I was out. I woke up at 8 in the morning, today, assuming Renato would have his usual jiu-jitsu fighting class this morning to make batter for waffles. We watched an episode of Law & Order: Special Victims Unit while we ate breakfast. He ended up not going to his class because it was canceled. We hung around the house for awhile. My mom had an appointment to get a pedicure, so I opted to join her. I don't do the whole manicure/pedicure scene very often. Once a year, maybe less. But I liked sitting in that chair with the back massager while having my feet softened and scrubbed and cleaned and done up. It was relaxing.
Later, Renato and I went to the bank, dropped off Norbit at Hollywood Video and picked up Turistas, the horror film based in Brazil. We somewhere in between met my mom at Costco to pick out a camera for me to have for my trip. I haven't used it yet, but I look forward to.
The rest of the evening we just hung out. Tomorrow I have to be up early to run errands with my mom in the morning. More preparations for the big trip. =)
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| Traveling to Brazil |
[16 Jun 2007|10:26am] |
What I will need to buy/pack.
2 bottles sunscreen
Bug repellent/bracelets
Traveler's Checks
Money belt
Make copies of passport/important documents
Travel journal
Addresses of friends (to send postcards to)
Art supplies (pen & ink, sketchbook)
Ipod & Charger
Books: Portuguese translation, Scar Tissue,
Clothes, makeup, toothbrush, shampoo/conditioner, deodorant, perfume, etc.
(not done yet of course, but if anyone would like to add, please do.)
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| I get by with a little help from my friends. |
[12 Jun 2007|07:38pm] |
I spent most of today hanging out at Shiree's house. We cooked, watched Sex & the City, ate food, went to Starbucks, and watched Law & Order:SVU. (To sum it all up)
I love Shiree's cooking. I envy that about her. I can't even make easy mac taste right. I burn just about everything. I mean, you should have seen the pancake I made last Saturday. It was just sad. I don't have the patience for cooking! I'll have pictures to post of these little garlic-mushroom toast things we made today.
I made her a livejournal today too. I wonder if she'll use it.
Tomorrow is the day Renato and I have set aside to go to the Del Mar Fair. We're taking my brother and his friend too. The Fab Four (a Beatles cover band) is going to be playing there tomorrow night. My dad saw them in Las Vegas during one of his M.A.G.I.C. trips, and thought they were pretty good. So I'm excited to see them.
I have to make a note to myself---a good gift for my mom on her birthday is one of those things you can heat up in the microwave and wear over your shoulders to relieve stress. Shiree was using one today because her neck hurt, and I thought it was the coolest thing when she let me try it! Apparently Michelle (Shiree's sister) gave it to her mom for mothers day or something like that. Anyway.
Renato's sleeping over all this week because he has guests staying in his room at his house. I would feel so weird having people sleep in my bed and stay in my room while their visiting. I've made a decision that Renato and I are going to buy a temper-pedic mattress when we move out. (After Brazil!) My back is always killing me.
Last night I was really upset while I was trying to fall asleep because I feel like I can't hold a job or a friendship for long. I mean let's face it, my nanny job dumped me. "Umm we're having a family crisis, you should find other work." American Eagle stopped scheduling me and this was supposed to be my last week. Laura dumped me, Kristina dumped me. So many of my old friends have just moved on to better things. They all have their own groups of friends. A lot of the "moving on" took place while I was away in treatment, which makes me resent my stay at Provo Canyon School even more. Renato comforted me last night though. He makes life much more bearable.
I'm just waiting for him to come home from his fighting thing... whatever it is that he does. Some mix of jiu-jitsu and something else. Law & Order: SVU is starting, so I gotta run ;)
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